No time to quit now, just time to get it now

Hi everyone! It's me again. I had my last official school day yesterday, and now we have a test week. It means we have exams of all the courses we had in this period. Well, most of my courses were refresher courses for the subjects I will have my final exams, so I have only one real test and four practice finals when we practice being at finals. Six hour exams, yayy. I'm still going to school every day for February and March, but only for one class a day. I feel kinda melancholic. I like my school a lot, and soon it will be over... But there's no reason to be sad. New adventures are ahead of me! And now I really need to focus on studying for my finals, so it's good that school isn't in the way anymore.

I bough a new pemplum top from the sales. It's light pink, a shade I thought I wouldn't wear ever.

And that's about school and studying. I made a sudden decision to join FitFarm's online training program Lite In Shape. It includes a diet and a training program for 10 weeks. I started it on Monday. The main poin is to get more muscle and avoid gaining fat. It's not a weight loss program, just to make things clear. I want to look more fit and thin of course, but I want to make it so my muscles are bigger. I don't have so much extra fat in my body so there isn't a reason to burn fat so much as there is to gain muscle. We have an active group with other people who are in the training program and so far it has been good to have that support of a group. They share their receipts and concerns and troubles and we help each other.

So far I've had a little trouble with eating all the food that is in the list. The portion sizes are twice as big as I was eating earlier, so I haven't finished them all. But still it's been easy to eat so far. I have the privilege to eat quark every day and I love it!  It's yummy.

My evening snack; quark, kissel and green tea. And a bit of lecithin. 

I've managed to do only two workouts so far, one home workout and one kettle bell workout. I enjoyed the kettle bell workout very much, it was really good. The home workout wasn't my favourite, but it was really effective. At first I thought that I'll do it with wrist weights on (1kg each) but after the first moves I had to remove them... And my thigh muscles are still hurting! I'm having trouble with walking down the stairs because my muscles are cramping so badly... And oh boy how much it hurts. But this is good hurt, and in a kinky way I enjoy it very much. How creepy does that sound? A bit though, but I think everyone who are training regularly likes that pain a little. My project ends at March 29th, and I will post some before-after stuff on then. Maybe earlier too, if I am seeing results earlier too. But I'm so excited of this project and I'm looking forward to the results I hope I'm going to get!

I also bought a new winter coat. My old one wasn't very warm and it was a bit too tight. This one is warm and fluffy and cost only 30e from Nelly.com! It was on sale though.

A pic from my driveway. It's magical in here in this time of year ♥ I feel like I'm living in a winter wonderland, a magical world when it's like this. The trees are shining when the sunshine hits them and it's beyond beautiful. It is -20 Celsius degrees and still I'm smiling like a fool every time I step outside. Finland ♥

Sweet is the sound of my newborn wings, I stretch them open and let them dry

Hello again! I've had the most amazing weekend in a long time - but not the usual kind of an amazing weekend. Paul Phoenix, a world-famous singer, who has sang in The King's Singers a long time, came to Kuopio to train the Kuopio Youth Choir, which I belong to. It was absolutely great. Even though we didn't train as individuals, but together, I learned a lot. I had the privilege to sing Butterfly in a small group. I am a soprano, and we sing the melody in that piece. With Paul's guidance I was able to reach my potential level in singing and it felt sooo good. I've had a lot of doubts about where I should apply for school and if I am good enough to go study music. I felt that even if I'm not now that good, I can practice and be that good in May or at least in the future. It felt so good to hear Paul say that I sing beautifully. Even my choir's conductor said that the change that I made in the practice was huge. I felt like I was flying and still do.

A pic from our choir's Twitter page, I look so flattering on rehearsals...

It has been a long time since I've felt this good about singing. I'm not so confident when it comes to singing, even though I love it and I know that's the thing I want to do for the rest of my life. Maybe it's because I train with very good singers in choir and I compare myself to them even when it's not fair. There are much older singers than me and you sound very different when you sing a solo and when you sing those backing vocals. I've had a rough year thinking about who I am and what I think about myself. I've made progress with my self-esteem but sometimes and with some things I am very insecure. This weekend showed me that it's important to be confident and believe in yourself. And I have every reason to be that way, but it's a thing where my Finnish nationality comes in. We are not proud of ourselves as individuals in Finland comparing with Americans or such. But as a singer and as a performer I must at least act like I'm confident. Musicians are actors also. And storytellers also, I learned that too.

Kuopio Youth Choir has been a part of my life for two and a half years now. I joined the choir the same time I started Muslu, Kuopio Senior High of Music and Dance or what it is that we call it. My school anyway. I sing soprano and I love it. We have gigs all over the year, sometimes bigger and sometimes smaller. One and a half year ago we performed in a festival Ruisrock. It's the biggest music festival in Finland, and in the day we performed there were 29K people. That's much in our scale. Choir is a great way to get practice in singing and learn a lot of music and different music styles. We don't sing just classical music or something boring stuff, we sing also pop music like Queen and songs from Disney movies. You get also a lot of experience in performing and you get to see a lot of different sides of music business. We have been in a recording studio and at the backstage of Tavastia Club (one of the must cult-like pop music clubs in Finland). If you are interested in singing and you can't efford private lessons or they are not available where you live, go ahead and join a choir! It really pays off.

 

Our performance in Ruisrock with Kerkko Koskinen Kollektiivi

No matter how I try, I find my way into the same old jam

Hello again! There hasn't been anything special happening in the last few days, because I'm still on my Christmas holiday. On Wednesday back to school, yayy. I have just watched some tv shows like Arrow, Prison Break and Homeland. Can't wait that Arrow, Criminal Minds, Supernatural and Bones come back from the midseason break, I'm soon running out of episodes to watch. Thank God school starts so I don't have all this free time! .. Just kidding. Although it's great to get back, because I have only two weeks of real school days left! After that we have our course tests and then my study break for finals starts. I'm in Finnish version of high school, and we have these final exams in different subjects that we can choose. I've chosen English, Finnish, Advanced level Math and Physics to take. It's one hell of a mission to complete, but I'm quite confident that they'll all go well. At least if I really start reading to them...

I'm a metal head from bottom to the top. A little over a week ago I went on a road trip to Jyväskylä to see my all time favourite metal band, Children of Bodom! They had a gig in Lutakko. It was the second time I saw them, and they still make my heart race after all these years. I've been a fan of them since I was twelve, seven years of fangirling.

Front row, yayy! Alexi Laiho, the lead guitarist and singer

I'm not sure yet what kind of things I am mainly going to talk about in here. I guess I'm going to tell a bit about my life as it goes, and share some things of myself and my past along with them. It's not going to be very deep, just normal things that tell something about me as a person. It will come along what kind of a blog this really is in the way. But I hope you will enjoy it anyway. And of course you can comment if there is something you would really want me to post about. I'm open for suggestions! And while we are at the subject: to all the English-speaking grammar nazis that are out there, you can comment and complain if I make mistakes with prepositions and stuff like that. I am familiar with English grammar, and I am trying not to make mistakes, but I write this blog very freely so there are going to be mistakes which I make when I'm not thinking. But this is a learning experience, so feedback is welcome.

I have also kinda public social media accounts, such as Twitter and Instagram. My nickname is Kalmanmarja on both of them, feel free to follow. It's my own make-up compound word, which originally came when I needed a new nickname and searched song titles for inspiration. Then I listened to Cmx song Kylmänmarja (berry of cold) and it sounded nice, but it was a difficult word because it has the Finnish letter ä. So I thought that I'll mix it with another word that starts with K, and the first I thought of was kalma (unusual version of word death in Finnish), because of Mokoma song Kalmannäkijä. So there came Kalmanmarja, berry of death. Haha, I'm actually not very deadly or sweet. Or maybe it's sour berry.

The road is long, we carry on / Try to have fun in the meantime

Hello everybody! My name is Nea, and I'm starting a new, written in English blog. It will be my project to help me with studying for my English finals and also something fun to do, because my written in Finnish blog has been dead for a long time. Maybe this will give me inspiration to start to think more in English. It would really help for my finals. And also I like to write down things I have in mind and this is a way to do it. At first I'm going to sum up my last year and introduce myself a bit with it. I think I am going to blog about myself more later. But here it goes!

2014

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

I did a lot of things! I got my driver's licence, went to a bar for the first time, had my Wanhojen tanssit (Finnish some kind a version of a prom), travelled to a foreign country with only my friend..

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I can't recall making any last year. Now I promise to respect myself more when it comes to relationships. I have let other's play with me and my feelings too much, and now I want to get rid of that habit. And also I promise to have more fun, to go out with my friends and just spend the night at a bar if I feel like it. I have been sitting too much at home last year. And also I promise to be brave if I need to move to a new city next autumn.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

I hang out in my apartment with my sister, then at midnight we went to our city's port to see the fireworks and from there I went to sit on Henry's Pub with my friend and had a blast.

New Year's Eve look!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank God. 

5. What countries did you visit?

Only Spain in August. We went to Barcelona. 

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

I realized last year that I would really like to have a relationship. A boyfriend.

7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

24 January was my birthday, I turned 18. I got my driver's licence 31 January, Wanhojen tanssit were on 14 February and so on.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

To get my driver's licence and my own car

9. What was your biggest failure?

My finals exam on psychology didn't went as well as I had assumed.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I hurt my leg in the beginning and I got asthma and rosacea.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My car and computer! And iPhone 4s. I'm sorry, I really can't pick one.

12. Where did most of your money go?

To my car and living and saving.

13. What song will always remind you of 2014?

Olavi Uusivirta - Ollaanko tämä kesä näin?

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Had fun and relaxed. 

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressed.

16. What were your favourite TV shows?

Criminal Minds and Bones!

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No

18. What was the best book you read?

A Dance with Dragons

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I've fell in love with Lana Del Rey, I can't remember founding any new great bands in the spring.

20. What was your favourite film of this year?

Mockingjay and Divergent were both great.

21. What did you do on your birthday

I had a birthday party at my apartment and got drunk legally for the first time. And gave an interview for a local paper.

22. What kept you sane?

Gym, friends, music. 

23. Who did you miss?

My siblings when I didn't have a chance to see them for a long time.

24. Who was the best new person you met?

Juuso

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014

Go for it, even though it might cause pain in the moment, but you will appreciate it in the end.